Once upon a time, in a village far away there was a kid named *your name with a different first letter*, and they were the fastest kid in all the land. They ran faster, swam faster, shit talked faster than all the other kids, but when it came time to go beddy-bye they couldn’t fall asleep. Until one day, a fairy god angel email writer appeared up on the foot of their bed, and handed them a pair of Sleep Vipers. *Your name with a different first letter* put them on and fell asleep right away. That’s the story of Sleep Vipers, the official sunglasses of going beddy-bye.